Tuesday, October 13


I write you down
to the last detail
Make you live inside my soul
You are a map I learn to navigate
One-half real, ten-halves fantasy
A recipe to disaster
I obsess and get mad on my being dependent on you
Then ask your advice
in my head
You always talk to me in my head
we carry endless conversations about the fate of the world
I make your coffee every morning before sunrise
although there’s just one cup on the counter
Then crawl back to bed to meet your hot skin
to find the bed empty
We take long walks, the kind we’ve never taken,
and smile at the thought of intimacy shared
and I never look to my right because I know you’re not there
You follow me in my dreams
and I don’t even reach for you anymore when I wake up at tiny hours in the night
Never mine, never yours, never us
You live out there, somewhere
And you don’t even know
Inside of me you have a second life.

Photo by KerenStanley

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