Mornings

There are mornings when I can't seem to get out of bed, not ready to face reality. I just lie there, daydreaming, reliving our few moments together, letting my fantasies get the best of me, and I smile at the memories until they sadden me.

There are mornings when I push my body out of bed before the first light, forcing my mind not to think about you. No, I'm not making you coffee. No, I'm not sharing my first cigarette with you. No, this will never be. I've got to face reality.

I need to move on, I used to say, less and less convincingly. I am stuck in a marsh of my own feelings. And I don't even know how you became such a big part of my life without really being a part of it at all.

Photo by Ersatz-moon